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9/25/2001
it is his loss, right? not to sound all big and bad, but i challenge him to find a girlfriend half as good as me. good luck david pike. i'll come to your wedding and laugh. i wish he'd come asking me back just so i could say "hell no" to his face. ha! that would be fun! im feeling a little harsh! yes!
anyway, i didn't get my full blog out last time.
i got back my first test of the semester today! music appreciation and i made a 100.5. i was very excited! i also took my second test of the semester today. it was discrete math. hopefully, i'll make almost as well on it as i did on the music test! although, the highest possible score is a 100 in there. i'll find out on thursday!
friday just might be a little rough. i have an accounting quiz, a chemistry quiz and a calculus test. i am going to be freaking out come thursday. i warn you!
tomorrow is spanish...hopefully that'll go decently well. im scared, though.
i definitely went OCD on pictures today. i sorted through my new ones and put some up for september on my calendar. i also added some to my desk, my board and an on-going frame i have! neighbors, come see them! = ]
i enjoy picutes way too much, i've decided. i decided on the way back from the gym that i want a digital camera for christmas! it'll be all over then! or, i could just get a scanner like tori said....hhmmm, tough decision.
what else do i want for christmas? i need help deciding that!
but, more importantly, what do i buy for everyone else?????? too much to think about.
i sat with my little sister today during her lunch period. i enjoyed it way too much. the little kids were cracking me up. especially this little badass named, derek. i almost started laughing in his face. i met some really sweet kids. i want to be all of their big sis's!!
okay, i should do some spanish studying now!
adios mis amigos y mi!
jenny 10:36 PM
I'm trying to put of studying for spanish for as long as i can. therefore, im blogging. i went home this past weekend, and while i was there, i really wanted to blog. but, i had no computer -- so i started a real journal. i had planned to just use it when i was away from the computer, but i have continued with it for the past few days. im sure i'll keep it going for a little while and then i will slack off. i think i'll write some things in there that i won't write on here just because there are some things i don't want the whole world to know. so, if there are huge gaps in my blogs, that is why. sorry for any inconvenience! haha!
so, i found out today that david pike really is in a frat. i am still shocked by that fact and i don't think i'll ever fully adjust to it. i could never imagine david wearing his letters around. where did he get the money to join? oh, thats right, he was saving it for the 15 months we were together b/c lord knows he didn't spend much on me. (not that money matters in a relationship...its just when he says, "i don't have any money" to treat me to a meal, and then he does have money when he wants to spend it on himself). there has to be some plot to his life. i mean, did he plan this perfectly or what? he makes me fall in love with him. we have a great summer together. then i go off to college where he can get the satisfaction of having someone miss him. and he can make me feel bad about doing innocent college things because of him. he can make me miss fun weekends at school to come home and be with him. he can have the girlfriend every two weekends and if he needs someone else to kiss why im not around, he can have that unnamed person, as well. then, when summer comes, he treats me terribly so i can turn to my only supportive friend (who just so happens to be a boy) for advice and comfort. he does this so he can accuse me for being more than just friends with david high. now he has a perfect excuse to give me the boot and make it seem like it wasn't a part of his plan to begin with. he carefully placed the break up a month before the start of school so he'd have time to go out and party with his friends and not worry about the girl whose heart he practically owned. then, time for school. he goes off where no one knows him, where no one can report to his parents. he has no responsibilities away from campus. he can find himself a girlfriend who'll give him more of what he wants. he can drink and not hide it from anyone. and he can truly be the "bastard" he is and not have to pretend to be someone else. i should have seen it coming. it was a plan. i was got. shit. guess there isn't much i can do about it now. and maybe im stretching things somewhat, but who knows, really. its not like he will actually read this and know my feelings about the situation right now. i can't believe that i keep sending him nice emails. i just can't get it through my head that he is NOTHING LIKE THE PERSON I THOUGHT HE WAS!!!!!!!!!
he never loved me. he just wanted a girlfriend and innocent jenny starnes would have him.
okay, that wasn't really what i was going to blog about, but i did. i promise i'll get over him soon. im beginning to think david high was right....i'll never get over him until i start hating him. (i'd rather say strongly disliking, however)
i need a date, FI's! hook me up, please!!! lol...a cute, good kisser, right?
*one big scream* *deep breath*
im gone to work off some tension at the gym!
byebye...im happy now that i have blogged. i'm not going to let that boy get to me! = ]
jenny 9:00 PM
9/20/2001
You'd think i'd learn by now, right? i'd learn that he isn't going to email me, that he isn't going to write, and that the thought of a phone call should have never crossed my mind. you'd think i'd learn not to bother checking my email. but i do it, just in case. just in case he may have received some forceful hit to the head that caused him to contact me in any way, shape, or form. and don't ask me why, but occasionally when i hear our phone ring twice (meaning off campus), i think maybe it's him...maybe he woke up from the world he has been living in for the past 2 months... "get real, jenny," i tell myself frequently.
i just want some kind of closure. i feel like something just came from the sky during the summer and took him straight up, out of my world. there was no real "breaking up" time...it was just all of a sudden, "jenny and david" were no more. no questions asked.
and i don't even know if i really want to talk to him because of the ass he has been lately by not responding to my emails. there are so many things that i want to ask him about...not only about what our relationship really was (was it a joke? was it a triple-dare from one of his friends? what the hell did it mean to him?) but also about what is going on in his life. i thought we were going to remain friends...i thought he wanted to prove everyone wrong. i still consider him as my friend; therefore, im interested in his life. im curious as to how his freshman year at college is going. at times i even try to take his side and say that there must be some excuse for why he is doing this. you know, that this isn't the real david. at times i think that if i could talk to him once, it'd fix everything. not everything to the point of us being back together, b/c i don't want that, but to the point where i'd understand where our relationship stands. if he doesn't want to be my friend, i wish he'd just tell me that. is it that difficult?
should i be over him? its been 2 months? i don't know if i'm supposed to be dwelling on this still, or not. i do pretty well most of the time, but every once in awhile it just hits me. a huge ball of confusion that won't ever straighten itself out without some sort of contact with david. and im worried that i may never understand all the things that i want to understand about our relationship. i've almost decided that if i want to talk to him, i'm going to have to call him and force him to talk to me. i don't think i want to do that. i want him to make an effort. man, im so confused and frustrated. i just wish it would fix itself.
okay, so if there is anyone out there who is reading this and doesn't know what the hell im talking about, david and i broke up over the summer. thats about all i have to say about it.
i had told myself that i wasn't ever going to blog about him again b/c he wasn't worth it. but i think blogging is about the only thing that helps sometimes.
sorry for this somewhat sad blog.
goodnight...and i'll be okay, i promise. i just need sleep and a good grade on my music test tomorrow.
jenny 12:06 AM
9/15/2001
oh my gosh. im so tired and i am being incredibly weird right about now. im sure tori is about to come nextdoor and physically make me go to bed. i'm bugging the crap out of her on AIM. we are attempting a converstation in spanish. this is what i just wrote. "oye!! yo veo como el es! no tengo una amiga llama victoria ahora." this is how i say, "oh! i see how it is. i don't have a friend named victoria any more." with the small word bank that i have, it is hard to carry on a good, much less, a proper conversation in spanish. i DO enjoy trying, however.
anyway, tori, alison, peyton (ali's friend) and i just got back from lexington. we ate at T.G.I. friday's. it was some good stuff. i tried to be "good" and cheap, so i ordered a soup and salad. of course, my soup wasn't that good for me. cheese and broccoli. and then peyton bought an oreo dessert and MADE alison and i eat it. it was remarkable the looks we got as he forced it down us. it was a fun night even though we did get misplaced in our direction. we somehow got turned around and around and around in downtown lexington. but we definitely weren't lost....we were always just a left turn away from the right direction, right tori?
however, the best part of the day was the trip tori and i took to ky kingdom. she and i were the only ones up for experiencing a fun-filled day riding rollercoasters. we invited nearly everyone we knew to join us. i guess they all just lost out. we left at 11 this morning and we were back by 5:30. basically, we spent 5 hours and 16 dollars (not includding the cost of food) enjoying ourselves and the company of one another. we rode chang twice, t2 twice, thunder run, twisted sisters, the carousel, and of course the hellivator! my favorite is still chang...tori's was t2 i think. tori was so scared before the first trip on the chang. (don't let her try to tell you differently. she'll be having a picture to prove it!) haha.
we ate well. i hate subway for lunch. why did a 6-inch turkey sub, a bag of chips and a water cost me 8 dollars? shew, that hurt my money supply. and later in the day tori and i ate some awesome icecream in some huge ass waffle cones. this cost 4 dollars, but it was definitely worth every penny. i finished mine and i was tempted to finish tori's for he, but i didn't. i do have to uphold my new nickname.
im sure there were some more things worthy to blog about that happened today, but i just can't think of them right now. i have no doubt that tori will, however.
last night i went to lexington to eat with my aunt paula and my cousins, shellie and jason. we ate at joe's crab shack. of course i ate a grilled chicken sandwich...and dessert. this was one awesome dessert. it was two rolled crepes filled with icecream and whipped cream and topped with bananas. it also had caramel and chocolate toppings! shellie helped me eat it, but i ate 3/4 of it im sure. desserts are my weakness. i used to think it was just chocolate, but anything gets me nowadays. oh well. im only young once, right? that was definitely the highlight of my night with the family. i had to pay for my meal...which sucks b/c i thought the point of it was "to take you out" me being the you. they didn't even offer...i guess that just shows how inconsiderate some of my family is. or maybe im just used to a much more thoughtful part of the family. walking around the mall with them for 2 hours wasn't all that fun either. paula is such a bad person to shop with. oh my. you just have to know my aunt paula to understand. i just don't have the time or desire to go into the explanation right now. after the trip to lexington last night, i watched "head over heels" with tori and sarah. it was a cute movie with a hot guy in it. the hot guy is definitely the most important part of that statement.
anyway, i can't believe it is almost sunday. i am such a slacker. i have done very little homework this weekend. i just can't believe myself this semester. last year, there would have been no way i'd gone out tonight. i really like the new me...its more fun and hopefully i'll still get my stuff done on time! thank you to all those who helped make me the person i am now! lol.
i've been talking to my mom online and she just gave me this advice. "there are some not so sane(insane), illegal, fun stuff worth trying....for instance, stealing road signs, toilet papering someones house/trees/yard, watching a titans game in a bw3 and getting shiit faced while you high-five the good-looking guy sitting at the table next too you, claim to be 5 years younger than you really are, just so you can get into a movie/event/concert/bar free! all kinds of things!" i laughed so hard. i love me mom. she is so silly. haha. tori, my mom gives me permission to steal that victoria way sign for you. just get me the tools! = ]
im all by myself in my room. sarah is at the pike house. i hope she is having fun. i think im going to go to bed soon so i will feel more like getting productive tomorrow afternoon .
until then! goodnight!
jenny 11:58 PM
9/14/2001
HELLO!!! im here... you may all sleep a little sounder tonight b/c of it. this isn't going to be a blog where i summarize the last 2 months of my life. nor is this going to be a blog where i dwell on the events of sept. 9th. and i am not blogging just b/c tori told me to!
my computer got the sircam virus nearly two weeks ago. it has been at the ITS center for over a week, and during that time i bummed off sarah for all my computer needs.(thanks a bunch sarah! you rock) well, last night i was on her computer and i decided to check out my blog to see what i last wrote about. i continued to read my past blogs and realized that i did enjoy this blog thing and that i wanted to start again when i got my computer fixed. well, low and behold, this morning, the ITS ppl called me and said it was fixed. and im here, just like i said i was going to be. im glad to be back in the blogging world.
now, im not going to summarize the last two months of my life right now or in one single blog, b/c it would be impossible. there were some major events that happened during the end of my summer and now is not the time to get into them. i will feel like discussing them at some point -- just not right now.
and im not going to speak about the WTC attack, either. i feel that i can't say anything that everyone doesn't already know. the events that happened are horrible and i feel the deepest of sympathy for the victims, for their families, and for the entire country. as my wonderful math/cal teacher, Dr. French, said "do something good." just b/c something evil has happened, doesn't mean that we have to stop doing good things. we must not let this change our lives in every way. and now i think i sound like i am saying, "lets just forget about it." that isn't what im trying to say at all...hopefully, what i am saying is understandable. and now im getting off the subject.
im supposed to be studying for a chemistry quiz. after the first quiz, im not so sure i need to study, but im going to anyway. i really havne't done much of anything productive today. its sort of fun to do that everyonce in awhile, i suppose.
im currently getting pissed at david high. i was in mid conversation with him on icq earlier when i sent a message and realized he was in DND (do not disturb) mode. his message said "ttyl." i was just like, "i can take a hint david. why didn't you say, 'leave me the hell alone' ?" and i told him to message me when he finished reading his physics....so much later i notice that he is back in away mode. i message him: "way to message me back.....and, don't worry, i've already taken it personally." i was just being the joking bitch that i can sometimes be. almost immediately, he goes back to DND. i thought he was just trying to piss me off, but maybe he wasn't doing it intentionally. oh well. it was funny and i am going to pretend to be pissed at him!
i got an email from david vance tonight. that was great. i hadn't even sent him one. granted, it wasn't the longest email, but atleast i could tell he thought about me! = ]
i love my new friend mio. she is from japan and she is in my cal class. she is so precious and fun to be around. she came to my room tonight to work on calculus and then i talked her into going to the gym with us. im going to get her to hang out with us more often. my friends seemed to appreciate her cuteness too. she must be the cutest 24 year-old i've ever seen. (and i mean that in a non-bisexual way.....there you go sarah and tori!) hehe.
i really should do something...like study now. i have so much more that i want to write about. i'll get to it eventually! goodnight!
jenny 12:44 AM
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