The Girl from the Mystical Land of Glasgow

2/03/2005

 
Well, It has been a few years...
I have created a new blog. You will find me at www.jstarnes.blogspot.com.


jenny 8:36 PM

8/28/2003

 
I'm back. This past Saturday I got back from a medical mission trip to Honduras. I'm posting the journal I kept while I was there in case anyone wants to know what exactly I was doing. Here are the first three days:

Saturday 8-16-03
8:45 a.m. Central Time
I’m sitting in Houston’s airport waiting for our flight to Honduras. Everything has run smoothly so far. I’ve met everyone, but I can’t say I know all the names just yet. They all seem nice, and occasionally they are funny. On the flight here, I sat next to Evan in the aisle seat. It was a small plane with all 50 seats full. I couldn’t sleep because I had nowhere to put my head. I’m going on 2 hours of sleep, but I’m pretty experienced with functioning on little sleep. The first flight was about 2 hours. We could watch the sunrise outside our window. It was beautiful.

8:00 p.m. Mountain Time
Now I’m in bed. I believe that I am slowly becoming a morning person/old woman. I’ll be able to sleep as soon as I stop writing.
We boarded our 2nd flight without trouble. Our plane was much larger 6 x 28 = 168 or so passengers. Again I had the aisle seat. I slept maybe 30 minutes on and off. By 9:45 I was ready for lunch. We ate on the plane while we watched the movie “What a Girl Wants.” For lunch I had a chicken sandwich with salsa, carrots, and some green vegetable. It wasn’t too bad. We also had some macaroni salad, potato chips, and Milano cookies (!). For some reason I was a little more scared on this flight. The landing was pretty rough, but we arrived in Tegucigalpa safely. The flight was about 2.5 hours. So straight from Kentucky, Honduras in probably about 5 hours.
After we went through customs, Tim and Gloria, two kind Hondurans, were waiting for us. We loaded our tons of luggage and took off for some unplanned shopping. Originally, we were told that we would shop on Friday, but that plan was changed. We exchanged our American dollar for the Honduran limpara. The exchange rate is 17.4 limparas to 1 dollar. It was difficult to shop since I was trying to figure out what exactly a good price for even a postcard would be. I finally realized that buying something for “dos mil” was actually just $12. The large group, my exhaustion and the simple foreign idea of shopping on the first day all slowed down my shopping skills.
On the way through town, I noticed all kinds of Coke signs. “Coca-Cola” was on everything. It was sort of crazy. Something even more surprising was the moment I walked in to the gas station. We were greeted by a guard carrying a huge gun. I have already adjusted a little to that strange security aspect of life in Central America.
After my crazy shopping (I did manage a few good purchases) we loaded our van and headed to the place we will stay tonight. I slept for almost the entire bus ride, and I really don’t have a clue how long the drive was. It was probably less than an hour. Gloria and Tim are sort of in charge of us while we are here. They recently built a nice hotel/cabin/house place for missionaries like us to stay at. The room I’m in has 6 beds and a bathroom. The other rooms house up to 12 people each. It is a really nice place, but we can’t get too used to it. We leave in the morning for the real adventure.
Once we got here, we separated all of our medicines from our personal items. We were able to shop a little from the wood carver and jewelry maker. They have some very impressive talents. We also had a snack this afternoon: watermelon (not as good as KY’s), a mystery bread (but good) and some citrus juice of some sort.
Tonight we had dinner around 5:30. We ate rice, some fried fish, tortillas, largely-sliced mixed, steamed vegetables, and some beans I didn’t eat. So far the food has been better than expected. As we finished, one of the nice ladies brought out dessert. The little cookies didn’t look like they had much taste, but they were delicious. I had three.
After dinner, we had a devotional. Mike shared a few readings from the Bible that sort of explains why he is taking part in this trip. Everyone shared a little about why he/she is here. We discussed our fears and concerns and what regrets we may have when we leave. Talking helped me get to know a little more about each person. The group of 12 are really caring, sincere people. I’m very excited about working with all of them.
Also, it was very stressful today when I couldn’t communicate with the store workers. I’m going to study my dictionary tomorrow on the way to the village. I think we have a 4-hour drive. We leave around 9. It is 8:36 and I’m gong to bed!
I feel bad that I can’t call home. I hope they aren’t worried.

Sunday 8-17-03
3:00 p.m.
Last night I slept very well. My mattress wasn’t very thick, and the wood beams were felt, especially under my lower back. I placed a pillow under me and then it was much more comfortable. I slept from about 9 to 5:45 without waking up. And after that, I slept on and off for another hour. My roommates were Carrie and Mary, and they were jealous of my sleeping abilities.
Once I got up, I jumped into the shower. I knew it would be cold, but I never thought it would be THAT cold. It felt like needles pressing against my already chilled body. My quick shower was followed by packing and loading the truck to be taken to our house in the village. We put all of the meds in the van and then had breakfast. For breakfast we had pancakes (possibly banana flavored) with honey and mixed fruit. The pancakes were great, but I missed my maple syrup.
After breakfast I wrote some postcards to Mammy and Papa, Dad, Mom and the Vances. I gave them to Gloria to mail. Here it costs about 50 cents to mail to the U.S. This is nice compared to the high rates I experienced in Germany!
Right at 9:00 we left Gloria’s to find our village. For the first 1½ hours, I read and napped a bit. Shortly after I awoke, we stopped at a little town with several shops and a restaurant I bought a Gala apple, some Papitas (potato chips), some strawberry milk like stuff, and a thing called Dalmata (Dalmation I think). It was a chocolate cake sort of like a Little Debbie. The apple was the best apple I could remember eating, the chips weren’t too bad, and the strawberry milk was pretty tasty. I just decided to eat the chocolate. I was feeling pretty deprived, and this tastes pretty good.
For the rest of the drive, I stayed awake and enjoyed the incredible scenery. I can’t believe how different every little thing is from America. Even the roads are completely different. There are no centerlines most of the time. People pass you despite the fact they can’t see around the curve. It is crazy. The hills and curves of Kentucky are nothing compared to those of Honduras. It really is like a roller coaster here. The view is amazing atop the mountains. We made it to our clinic before 1 p.m. We unloaded, had lunch (some interesting, but tasty sandwich), and then we organized the medicines in the pharmacy. It is packed. Jenna is going to be working there for sure, and I hope I get to, too.
Right now we are all sitting around talking inside the clinic. We are waiting for John and his daughter Andrea to show up. When they arrive we get to see where we are going to be sleeping. Hopefully, we’ll go to the kitchen (in another building) to eat then too. Everyone wants to know what I am writing down in my journal. They all think I am writing down all the funny stuff they have been saying....They are just paranoid!
8:45 p.m.
Once again it isn’t even 9 and I’m in bed. John and Andrea got here around 4. We worked a little longer at the clinic and then we went to another building where we would eat. It rains in the afternoons here around 2 or so. The dirt roads stay pretty muddy so when we were headed to eat, we loaded in the back of an extended cab, short bed, diesel pickup truck basically went “muddin’” as Andrew would call it. It was a lot of fun. There were about 8 of us in the back. I had to sit on Pat’s lap, and she kept sliding off of her bench seat. She ended up on the floor of the bed amongst all the mud a few times. I felt sort of bad. Anyway, for dinner tonight we had chicken, rice and beans….and we didn’t have dessert. I liked it all except the beans. After dinner some jokes were told including John’s famous and disliked dead mule joke.
We finally worked out some of the confusion about where we would be sleeping. At first we were all going to stay in this four-room house. We had 3 rooms to work with, but since all of the women except me have a tent, we took up lots of room. There are 2 in two of the rooms, and 3 in the other one. Two people set their tents on top of the beds…talk about unadventurous. The seven women and the honorary woman, Mike, are going to stay in this house. The other 4 men went back up to the clinic to sleep. They all tried to make me use an unused air mattress, but I refused. I wanted to experience the 3-inch thick one that they provided. Some are impressed with that and my minimal luggage. It is fun. They say that we will have a generator tomorrow night so that we can have some light.
Tonight I couldn’t wash my face because the water isn’t always running, and I didn’t want to use what little drinking water I have for washing my face. However, my OCD is starting to show through with my face cleanliness. Oh, and my biggest problem so far has been forgetting my bag of Q-tips and cotton balls a home. I can’t stand not cleaning my ears after a shower. Fortunately, they found an extra travel size box of them in the unneeded medical supplies.
I feel bad right now because us Americans are taking up the entire house with their tents and 3 Honduran ladies are laying outside on the fake mattresses waiting for someone to pick them up to take them somewhere else to sleep. We could definitely fit them in our house if they took down their tents. The people who have gone on these trips before think that the Hondurans aren’t as prepared as they usually are for us. However, I think it is all going as well as I expected.
I think I’ll read and then sleep. It is 9:00 now.

Monday 8-18-03
7:10 p.m.
Right now I’m eating an Oatmeal Raisin Granola bar and sitting at the kitchen table with a light over my head. Despite the somewhat annoying flicker of the light, I couldn’t e happier. The generator we have tonight allowed us to bring home some medicines to package for tomorrow. We call it “homework.”
This morning I got up at 5:30. I stayed in bed until the shower was free. My first shower experience in our “house” wasn’t awful. I just bit the bullet and took it. I definitely decided I wouldn’t be shaving my legs this entire trip.
For breakfast we had cinnamon and sugar oatmeal, fresh pineapple, and some sort of red/bread/biscuit kind of thing. We headed to the clinic before 8 and started seeing patients as soon as we organized. Jenna, David, and I worked in the pharmacy, and I was very glad to do so.
(The generator just ran out of gas, so I’m now writing with a candle assisting me.)
As soon as everything got rolling, patients began to swarm outside. There are three doctors and one dentist. Filling the prescriptions was easy at times: 30 Acetaminophen, 30 children’s vitamins, etc. But sometimes we basically had to guess what the patients needed, how often they needed it and how much they needed. That was pretty crazy, and it took quite a bit of getting used to since I am so precise at Towne and Country. I think having worked there has definitely helped me find my way around this pharmacy. It is really amazing how fast I adjusted to the new surroundings and new way of working. Sometimes we had no clue what we were doing. Usually when this happened, we sent David to ask someone. It was difficult trying to explain the medicines’ instructions to the patients. Things like Amoxicillin usually took help from a more fluent Spanish speaker. A few of the ladies who somewhat understood English, or could piece together our horrible Spanish, or just understood by our gestures and finger counting, were a lot of help when they were around. Almost all of the patients got parasite pills. Because of this, we had to package them as often as possible. Fortunately there are only 6 pills per package, but the directions are a pain to write: “tome una tableta dos veces al dia por 3 tres dias.” I thought pre-packaging for nursing home prescriptions was bad enough, but this is just annoying.
Around 10 this morning, I got hungry, but I somehow forgot about the hunger just as soon as I realized it’s existence. We were brought a coke and some Cheetos. However, we didn’t really have time to eat and drink. Before I even knew what happened, it was after 12 and the doctors had stopped seeing patients for the day. In the pharmacy we found ourselves swamped around this time, though.
Eventually we got to leave for lunch. At lunch we had tortillas, refried beans, and cabbage. Talk about interesting…but I ate it anyway. We also had some sort of soup After lunch, John passed around M&M’s. I was relieved. Before 2, we headed back to work. As we headed up to the clinic, the mass of people lined up was overwhelming. We knew it would be a busy afternoon. I think it went by smoothly, though. Jenna and I bounded and joked and laughed. Wheat is really nice is that the patients can’t understand us. Well, that is also perhaps the worst part.
Anyway, the pharmacy has two windows. Between all the prescriptions, I get to see some neat/unusual things. Today I saw many women breast-feeding their babies without concern about who saw them. It was shocking at first, since it is so different from America. I also watch children stare into the window. This one little girl was so precious. She kept staring in and I finally asked her and her friends if I could take their picture. I think our cameras and hand movements finally made since to them. One finally said “si” and smiled. It was a priceless moment. The girl continued to come back throughout the rest of the day. When Even was helping us package some vitamins, he offered her one. When she finally accepted the offer, she raised her hand, fingers all exposed, and said “cinco.” It was cute.
It is amazing how happy and content everyone is here, despite their living conditions/surroundings. I’m very surprised at how well mannered they are. When we were slow, they never screamed at us. In the U.S. I believe that even if they were being offered free service, they would not be as appreciative as these Hondurans are. I know I’ve been “yelled” at more at Towne and Country.
As the day wrapped up, Jenna stuffed a Ritz and cheese cracker in my face. We also did some aerobatics and laughed a lot. Jenna started saying “no mas” about everything when dinner neared. I just laughed and continued taking orders. We stopped around 5:30 and went down to dinner. For dinner we had some kind of rice/chicken/carrots/green beans concoction. It tasted really, really good. We also ate baked apples, beans, tortillas, and pineapple tea. This has definitely been my favorite meal yet. After dinner we talked about how everything is going. They are very happy with the way we are running the pharmacy – yea! We packaged meds tonight, and now I’m going outside to talk before bed.

jenny 10:25 PM

6/01/2003

 
i just read what i wrote on april 20th, and i must say that i agree with that statement tonight. i think i have this whole urge to grow up thing when i'm around my extended family. today was the ferguson reunion, and i had a great time. but i've watched several people grow up, get married and now they are bringing there kids. i've grown from the little kid playing in the creek getting soaking wet to the young woman holding the hands of two three year olds as they experience the same joy i did as a child. now i'm seeing what it may look like in a few (or several) years when i have little kiddies of my own. i guess, i mostly fear that i need to do the whole starting a family thing before it is too late. i want my children to still go down to the "old homeplace" and wade in the creek. for some reason i think it is going to disappear or something. however, i wasn't the first generation to play in the creek and i was obviously not the last.
i just love babies and the joy they bring...anyway, enough about that.

okay, i just lost half of this blog. crap. well, i mentioned the tartan ball and how much fun it was. we had some special guests last night. the most important being alison. i had a great time with her there and i hope she did too. i was reassured at my 8th tartan ball that it really is as much fun as we talk it up to be the entire year. now i definitely think everyone should come next year.

the real reason for this blog is going to remain somewhat untalked about. i was originally going to talk about friendships and how they change and how they change for stupid reasons and how it saddens me. but tonight i think i'll enjoy my conversation with patrick and not get too depressed with dwelling on the other topic.

peace out. ha
jenny 11:33 PM

4/21/2003

 
After today's Easter activities, I have a huge urge to get married and have babies...weirdness.
jenny 12:51 AM

3/29/2003

 
I am back to this blogger thing, as I choose to publish blogs when important/big things happen in my life.
Today I donated my hair to Locks of Love and I now have SHORT hair. Tori and Jennifer think the hair was weighing down my spirits and believe the cut will bring back happy jenny. (not that i'm sad, I'm just a little more mellow than I was freshman year...I really don't understand this, but perhaps it is true.)
But the real reason why I am here blogging is because yesterday was a really special day. I had invited some of my friends from home (in ABC order), Ben, David High, David Vance, and Ranjana to Georgetown last weekend before I left. I didn't know if they would come or not, but I got excited and told everyone here about the possibility. With only a little bit of convincing with one of them, I got them to Georgetown. I was very excited about their arrival, but a little nervous how the day would work out... I was pretty confident that it would go well, but sometimes mixing two large groups like that can get scary. However, the second they all came into my room, grabbed the "Sockem Boopers" and started fighting, I relaxed a little and knew everything was going to be fine. (oh, and there was another unexpected guess, Penguin...oh my was this hilarious.) After introductions, I took them to the Grille to get some food and Smoothies (i almost have a full smoothie card now! woohoo), and then took them to the "boat dock." At first, I didn't think they were as impressed by this place as I the rest of us up hear are, but then we got in the water. First, Ben, DHigh, Ranjana, and I waded across the top of the waterfall...the water was cold, but it was fun. DVance was at the bottom taking pictures b/c he was being a big baby...thankfully we didn't fall and we made it on land safely...then we went to the bottom and waded across the water stepping on all the slimy, uncomfortable to most (my country-raised feet weren't in pain) rocks... DVance decided he was missing out on way too much fun and joined us for this part. DHigh had the funniest method of balancing as he used the "all-four" approach. too bad I didn't have enough film to capture that. = ] I really thought someone was going to injure his/herself...and then they decide to climb up the edge of the waterfall...how stupid...i was really nervous but no one fell in. Anyway, it was a nice waterfall experience, and in the end, I think they enjoyed the little Georgetown specialty. Back on campus, we played several dozen rounds of CatchPhrase and they got to meet and interact with my college-buddies. We (the glaswegians, Alison, Carrie, Lindsay, Sarah and Tori) decided to go to Charlie Brown's to eat. The food was good and the company was even better. After that we went to Cold Stone Creamery and had some delicious icecream. YUMYUM. We came back to school and played at the Rec for awhile. Ranjana kicked mine and Carrie's butt at ping-pong, Ben was victorious at Air-Hockey, and DVance and I outscored DHigh in bball game of 21. Then we played Taboo, watched some basketball, and played airplane! It was fun.
So yeah, I had a good time...I don't think a smile left my face. Rarely does one person get the opportunity to be in two places he/she would most like be at the same time. I really don't know how to explain this feeling. To be able to look around and see nine of the most beautiful friends---nine of the most "if I need you, you will be there" -- "there is no one else in this world like you" -- "knowing you makes my life better" people is absolutely breath-taking...so maybe you think I'm getting a little carried away, but I really do mean this. I feel so fortunate to be blessed with friendships I know will last a lifetime. It is rare for one to have friends from high school who will drive 2.5 hours to visit you -- especially after you are told that friendships from high school don't last (I'm definitely not going to believe them when they tell me they won't last out of college either)
So thanks to you guys from Glasgow who got up early, rode in the car for hours, just to visit me and meet my other circle of friends.
Thanks to you Georgetwon friends who cleared your schedules, helped me make plans, and helped me keep the others entertained. I realize that it is hard to accommodate us from Glasgow --- but you do a darn good job of it.
I'm happy to know that my two closest groups of friends had great things to say about each other after the night was over.
It makes me feel like I'm doing something right.
jenny 10:29 PM

1/05/2003

 
life is wonderful.
I had a birthday far better than I ever deserved.
i have the most giving family and the best friends, ever.

jenny 11:44 PM

12/29/2002

 
today was a beautiful day. there is nothing i wanted more than to walk in the woods hand-in-hand with a special friend. or maybe a picnic would have been equally as inviting. i almost took-off with a blanket and a book but i didn't want to have to explain what i was doing. my family would have looked at me funny.

what did i do instead? well, i watched tv while snipping my splitends. and then i hung up my dad's new kitchen and bathroom curtains. wonder if he even notices.

and by the way...i haven't felt normal or completely healthy since tuesday the 17th. i couldn't even hang curtains without feeling pain today. i really don't understand. maybe skiing tomorrow will make me feel better. haha, probably not but there is no way i'm missing it.

happy new year.
jenny 5:41 PM

12/21/2002

 
so i've lost my family's respect -- i've had one wreck and all of a sudden i feel like a bad kid. i guess this means i'm not capable of driving anymore...i just lost all four plus years of a good driving record because of one rainy evening.
my dad's words of advice tonight. "well, if you think you are going to hit a car, go for the ditch" b/c he doesn't understand insurance policies, but that is a different story.
i don't understand how some people's minds work after something like this... my dad is only worried about my insurance going up and what we are going to do with the car, yadda yadda yadda. i don't know dad. i just want to be able to have a couple of normal days and a good christmas before i wonder if and how i'll get another car.
i've lost all trust for myself. i can't even describe how horrible and guilty i feel right now. i know that i am very lucky to be sitting here as perfectly normal as i am, and i know that God was watching over david and me yesterday, and i'm so thankful. but where do i go from here?

the only thing that kept me from a total breakdown tonight was sydney. she hugged me tonight like i don't think she ever has. it is like she undestood what was happening and like she could tell that i needed hugging and that she knew she was fortunate to be doing so. children are amazingly wonderful things.
i've got to get some sleep. things have to get better from here...
jenny 12:37 AM

12/17/2002

 
so I think I feel inspired to blog... I don't really know why. I think I feel lots of emotions right now, but I’m not for sure if I am going to disclose all of them.

First, how do you make yourself bleed with generic scotch tape? Let me tell you. I was wrapping gifts and I cut a piece of tape too early so I held it with my teeth, like normal. Well, I ripped it off a few seconds later and I was bleeding. Some of my lip decided it liked the tape better than me...it hurt and it made me mad more than anything.

Next thought. I’m finished with the weirdest semester of my life. I’m not really sure why it was so weird, actually, I’m pretty sure I do. But it was fast, hard, sad, happy and altogether weird. Maybe it has something to do with me being a junior. I have always heard that junior year is the worst/hardest or whatever...I just really hope next semester is better. This past semester is about to give me my first and possibly second B in college. This really shouldn't be a big deal...but why, if I could do it for two years, the first two, the prime time to screw up, why couldn't I this year? I just have this feeling that my dad, who never asks about grades and only looks at them and writes me a check, is going to be like, "get hard on you?" with a joking voice or say "what happened?" in a very non-apologetic tone. I don’t really care if he cuts my “good grades” check by twenty bucks or doesn’t give it at all, I just don’t want this whole “haha” thing from him and everyone…I feel like several people are going to do that. Not my mom though. She’ll probably take me and celebrate or something. But I just can’t handle the jokes at Christmas. “Not only does Jenny not know what she is going to do with her life, but she is also making B’s now.” Okay, so I am overreacting a bit here and my family isn’t that mean, but I guess I feel like I’m disappointing them and myself. From the beginning, I’ve only done my best and I wasn’t so concerned with the letter… I really just got lucky a few times and got the A’s. And maybe I could have tried a bit harder this semester in math…I could have gone to his office a few more times and felt stupid a bit more, but it never seemed worth it. I felt that no matter how many times I visited, I’d leave feeling worse than I did when I went. And most of the time I didn’t have time or I felt burdensome…
Anyway, I’m really okay with this B thing if everyone else is. I never said, “I can’t make a B” because I’ve made my share in life and I didn’t expect college to be any different. So, we’ll see what kind of response I get. Hopefully, I’m just a little worked up.

I have been home since Saturday night. Sunday, I worked and hung-out with David High. We had Evergreen…the best Chinese food ever! (on a side note, one of the owners/employees remembers me from back in the day when I’d always go there with David Pike. Being with a different guy didn’t confuse him, which surprised me. He said, “so, you go to Georgetown, right?” actually, he said something that didn’t sound anything like that, but I slowly realized what he meant. It was cute, and it made me happy. I don’t really have that customer/employee bond thing like a lot of people do when they go to a place often. Anyway, I loved being there with Dhigh, but it sort of made me want to see Dpike again….dangit.)
After eating, David and I tried to come up with something to do, but we failed miserably. We tried Big Lots and Walmart…well, walmart was almost fun. David found this boxing game thing. You plug this thing into a TV and put on these gloves and go crazy at the guy on the screen. Talking about excited, I was pumped. The price under the box said 11 something so we high-tailed it to the checkout counter. Upon arrival, we found the price was actually 47 something. What a disappointment! Our night was ruined after that… but we did decide that we were okay being bored with one another…better than being bored alone.

Yesterday I put up my grandmother’s Christmas tree and today I finished decorating the outside. I just had this burst of Christmas energy. I decided to decorate the outside like she used to do when we were little. I put red wrapping paper on the bases of her porch poles and wrapped red ribbon around the poles like candy canes. And I hung lights around the edge of her porch. How cute! I promise it isn’t tacky. Sydney was sick yesterday, but I spent today with her. After a little Jenny in her life, she feels much better.

So now, I am at my house, my dad is sleeping and I can’t do anything… I can’t leave, I can’t have anyone over, not that they would come, and I can’t even do laundry. This stinks. There is always a downfall to everything. If I stay out and have fun, I’m way tired the next day. If I try to do things rationally/logically, I get fussed at. Okay, I’m ranting and raving about little things now. But within just a few hours tonight I realized the negative aspects about being home. I absolutely love being with my friends, but I can’t stand-up to my grandmother and talking to my dad seems so impossible sometimes. The two things don’t work well together. Everything has to be so planned-out when I’m home. I have to base what nights I stay out late on what days I work… I always have to take my grandmother’s schedule into consideration when I make plans. I’m slowing wishing that I didn’t volunteer to work over Christmas break. I am pretty sure that I am going to miss two of the break’s highlights b/c of work. One, the Wild Cave Tour at Mammoth Cave. I’ve wanted to go since two summers ago and now I can’t b/c all of my friends are going this Saturday for Ranjana’s birthday and I have been on the schedule since Thanksgiving to work. Second, a ski trip to Paoli. I’ve never been skiing and I have wanted to since my sophomore year in high school when I put in my money to go with Miranda Cook and then the trip got canceled. But now a trip has been scheduled for the 30th and I probably have to work and if not I will probably have a Christmas dinner that day. I feel bad for asking off for anything since I come back asking to work…and the next Saturday is my birthday and I haven’t asked off for that yet. And the way things look, I probably won’t need to.

Okay, I’m going to stop complaining now. I have bigger things to worry about than how much fun I’m going to miss out on. Like, my grandfather. They took a spot off his eye the other day and they found out today that it was cancerous. We weren’t too surprised with his history, but it is sad. Luckily, they think that they got it all, but the next little bit is still scary.

I think I’m going to stop blogging now and email Britta or fix some Christmas cards to send to my favorite adults in Glasgow.

I’m so glad to be out for the semester and I hope everyone’s finals finished up well and everyone made it home safely.
Enjoy,
Jenny

jenny 10:02 PM

11/24/2002

 
David High was here this weekend. I had a lot of fun. It was good!

Why can't I always be within hugging distance from ALL of my friends?

The world works in mysterious ways, and I'm so very thankful that it does.

Eventually, everyone comes around if it is meant to be.

And I'm pretty much speechless beyond that.
jenny 2:15 AM

11/19/2002

 
I've figured out part of my problem.
1) I'm suffereing from chocolate deficiency -- I see a blizzard in my near future.
2) I'm having an emotional overload -- I can't remember the last time I have had a good cry.
3) I don't talk on ICQ anymore -- I talked to Matt and David High a little today, and it made me feel better.
So maybe i'll eat some chocolate, shed some tears, and chat on ICQ later.
i'm good guys, really = ]
jenny 3:40 PM

11/10/2002

 
If only my arms could reach 150 miles.
If only I knew the right things to say.
If only I could make the pain disappear.
This is about the only reason I wish I went to Western.
Goodnight and Happy Birthday Tori.
jenny 1:11 AM

11/05/2002

 
oh my. yes, again, the overall theme of this blog is going to be "I'm trying. work with me here, please."

so my mom continues to send me internet links from western to places that have internship stuff. even though i'm not dead set on considering an internship, i look at them anyway. today, i get this and i examine some of the thousands listed and i see nothing that I am directly qualified for (being a math major/sociology minor). so i decide to check out some of the links like Princeton Review, Internship Programs.com, and Rising Star Internships. Now, I'd like to focus on this last one. RISING STAR INTERNSHIPS. i go to the site and click a few times and get to this
okay, if you don't really want to follow what I'm doing here, this gave me an alphabetical list of all the "areas," i guess, that you can get an internship in at this site. so, i scroll down to the M section.
MANAGEMENT, MARKETING, MEDIA, MUSEUMS, MUSIC
okay, the last time I checked, MATH would go right between MARKETING and MEDIA. Startled I was, but I refused to give up. "Maybe math would be under NUMBERS. or should I check for ALGEBRA?" I thought. I even checked under the Ws for "WASTE OF TIME." nowhere did I fing math. I'm screwed. jobs with math just don't exist. haha!
okay, so i went a little overboard here. perhaps internships for math just don't exist. regardless, i didn't need this stress today. I swear i'm just going to start ignoring the stuff my mom sends me and worry with the career stuff over Christmas or just never. haha!
who needs a career if i can get jobs. (whao...relating this to Marriage in the U.S. now. gotta stop).

and by the way, sorry for the abrupt leave yesterday. i didn't get to finish my whole weekend story blog and the whole i miss seeing the friends my mom is constantly seeing blog. oh well. you guys know i miss you! i hope all is well. come visit me or something!

gotta be productive...Goodbye.


jenny 3:16 PM

11/04/2002

 
Oh my. I'm trying. really I am. work with me here, please.
I tried, for the third time, to find an article for my psychology summary, but i was unsuccessful. probably b/c the computers in the writing center suck my..., well, let me just say that they are slow and stupid!!! i tried two computers and two search techiques, and i failed miserably. Then, i pull out my probabily. yes, i finally faced reality -- andy and sarah, it isn't going away. dangit!
anyway, i opened my binder to realize that once again I didn't have my assignment written down. I tried to check my email to see if it was still available or whatever but it wasn't. now i'm just putting off calling sarah to get the assignment. this would take way too much effort as each question has several parts and we are only supposed to be able to do parts of them. it would be way too confusing.
oh my. i guess i could research that Thales dude some more. i won't even go there. oh, that assignment angers me.
or i could sit here and blog.
hhmm.
i had a great weekend. however, nothing significant happened at all. i saw sydney for many hours! it was wonderful. i didn't do homework. that was wonderful, too. i bought new shoes, and guess what....that was wonderful! okay, so i'm a little bit looney!!! perhaps the largest surprise was my dentist appointment on friday... I HAD NO CAVITIES. this used to not be a big deal, but for the past few years, it was just a given. no matter how much i improved my dental cleaning routines, i would still have cavities. i was so sure of this that i sort of made plans to skip class this morning or go home again this friday to get them filled. but i didn't have to!!!
maybe i should always expect the worse....but then that wouldn't be healthy.
i was sort of sad that i didn't get to see any glasgow friends this weekend. it sucks more that my mom gets to see my friends all the time. she is always telling me about running into david vance in the library, michael nunnally on his bike, david high walking somewhere, or hearing matt humphreys (as she calls him) yell out her name.

well, mio just came in and told me that she threw away her probability homework. that is great. it really did go away for her. i'm happy now. i think i'm inspired to do math.
goodbye.

jenny 8:13 PM

10/23/2002

 
Sometimes the smallest things make the biggest difference. I, without much hesitation, believe I can say that I made a little girl's birthday today. The look on Amber's face today was like none I'd ever seen on her. I'm glad I had my camera so I could catch the joy and share it with others.
After more than a year, I'm finally really understanding and witnessing the greatness of volunteering as a Big Sister through Big Brothers/Big Sisters. I knew that this would be a good thing, but it is becoming a great thing. I encourage everyone to consider making a difference in a little child's life through this program at some point during his/her lifetime.
smiling a bit more this evening,
Jenny
jenny 1:22 AM

10/19/2002

 
Do you ever feel uncertain about your place in life?
If life was one huge play, what role would you play?
Sometimes I feel so confused about my purpose in this world.
What does my life contribute to the overall picture?
I feel like I should be doing so much more. Yet I have no clue what that would be.
If I were to die tomorrow, there would be so much left undone, unsaid, unthought.

What if? What if? What if? Too often do I ask myself this.


jenny 11:31 PM

9/28/2002

 
For every two steps I take forward, one must be taken backward. i don't know why i work like i do. I just reread the email I sent to david pike two weeks ago for the first time since I send it. I was curious as to what exactly I said. and i guess i'm still surprised about what i was able to write. in case you're wondering, here is a bit of it:

"I have very little doubt in my mind that you cheated on me, David. From the beginning, I've heard many explanations of what happened. ... I just want you to know that you didn't get away with it and I hope you enjoyed every bit of it. Yes, you made me look like shit by first being ignorant to the whole situation for so many months and again by falling for what you claimed to be the truth. But what others thought didn't concern me. I just wanted to know what my boyfriend was doing. Again, if you had have told me about it right after it happened, life would have been simpler for the both of us. But maybe that would have taken too much of a man to speak up and admit to wrong-doing. ... I did nothing but be honest and faithful to you in our relationship. I only expected the same in return. While you were accusing me of being more than friends with David High, you had been cheating on me. For the longest time since the breakup I'd felt somewhat guilty about David High. ... Now, I've erased that guilt as I know that you were the guilty one. Perhaps you saw my relationship with David High as a way out of your trouble and with it you could easily make me look like the bad one.
...I've been on this quest to figure out who you are for awhile now. I'm tired of being told, "You don't even know David." For so long I thought I did, and now it hurts to think that maybe I never did know the real you....I must admit that for the longest time, I've been living in the past. I've been holding on to hope with a death grip. I was waiting, I guess, hoping that you'd become the person I wanted you to become. But I realize how selfish that is of me. You are free to become the person you desire to be. You are free to behave any way that you want . I'm sorry if you ever felt like I kept you held back or anything. .... And now it is time for me to do something I rarely do. Give up. I give up, David. Simple as that. I've done all I can, and I've been patient. I can't take being rejected any longer. It has been over a year since we said our original goodbye, and it is about time I get something other than rejection. ... I'm not going to email you, call you, or write you anymore. I've done this in the past and waited for responses. Time and time again, I never got one, and I'm not going to wait around anymore. I am not saying I hate you, David. Honestly, I've tried hating you, and it didn't work. When everything around me was telling me to hate you, my heart wouldn't let me. ... If you ever wonder about me, feel free to contact me. I'm sure I'd love to hear from you, but I don't want to force the friendship. Friendship is a two-way road and I'm tired of driving down a one-way street. ... I hope that our memories won't die in your heart, because I know they aren't going anywhere in mine. ... If for some reason we never speak again, I wish you the best. You deserve everything you ever dreamt. I only wish I'd be around to see it come true. I just ask that you do what your heart tells you to do in every situation. I truly hope that your life at Western is everything UAH wasn't. Take care of yourself. I never lose hope..."

So there it is, for the world to see. i was blunt, but i was nice, too. i swear i'm going to be healed soon. i just have to stay busy.

on a lighter note, my guard is doing extremely well. they are very pleased with what i was able to accomplish during camp this summer. i'm glad that someone appreciates me! i'd love to see them perform again but with my crazy schedule and their forever away contests, i don't think it is going to happen.

i'm training for a 5K. I hope to run one with alison in BG over thanksgiving break. i hope i can do this!

gotta sleep now. tons of studying to do. just had to blog i guess.
night


jenny 1:31 AM

8/13/2002

 
So maybe I’ll write a blog tonight that isn’t completely centered around negativity. No promises on where this blog will end up, however.
I’m sitting here after a pretty decent day of not doing a whole lot. Right now my choices of things to do is limited. Basically shopping on ebay, blogging and going in my room and thinking are my only three non-noisy choices. We know I can’t afford anymore ebay shopping and thinking has never been a good idea, so here we are.
I actually slept in this morning. I awoke at 9:45 to my cell phone ringing. My mom was calling to invite me to the lake. Man I wanted to go so badly b/c I love to ski and I haven’t been in a really long time. But, I had already made plans to spend my day with sydney. After the phone call, I got up, showered, did some laundry and sat around infront of the TV for awhile. I also made a dentist appt. This pissed me off. Something is wrong here…. I’ve been on the waiting list since july after I canceled my appt b/c of guard camp and I decided I better go ahead and make one for a Friday afternoon. The earliest date I could get on a Friday after 12 was November first. Isn’t that some shit? I could have five cavities in my mouth right now and not know it. By november my teeth could all rot out. Maybe a dentist shouldn’t have so many patients if he/she can’t provide the needed services within a month’s time.
Enough about matters I can’t do anything about. WAIT isn’t that what my life is full of, matters I can’t do anything about? Anyway. Happy thought happy thoughts.
Finally, my day began with sydney. Our entertainment consisted primarily of reading books and going back and forth between the house and the worm building. I swear this child knows things no other 2-year-old does… I had a great time with her and possibly my last complete day with her before school starts. Sad times….
Later in the day I took mammy to town (aka t-ville) to go to the grocery. I managed some free light bulbs, hangers and laundry detergent so not a bad trip.
After that, I ate dinner and helped my crazy aunt paula hem some pants. I got to show-off my awesome sewing skills. It was sort of fun b/c I think she was impressed. “did mammy teach you how to do this?” she asked. “not really, I just picked it up by watching I guess..” I decided that a perfectionist like me can do pretty much anything if the time is infinite. I’m so slow when I sew b/c I double, triple-check every stitch. Really, it annoys the hell out of me. But today’s goal was to keep my mind off everything that upset me last night and I have been pretty successful at that so I am happy.

I’m gradually becoming excited about going back to georgetown. Each day, the idea of being surrounded by girls becomes a bit more inviting. I guess I’m ready to catch up on the lives I’ve been absent from for the past three months.
I wonder what sarah really felt about knoxville, and what all kinds of cool stuff she did b/c I haven’t talked to her much at all! How is her relationship with chris? Does she have another love interest?
Tori…well, I know she has had a blast, but I have to see this tattoo and blond streak in her hair for myself… and I have to hear some more about the craziness in WI and see some pics.
Ali…what is really going on with you and Mark? I’ve been curious since I saw you at the parent-teacher store…and again in the parking lot the other day. I want to know details. You better not hold out on me.
Jennifer McKinney, I want to see your new car and take it for a test ride. You know you’ll be driving everywhere we go now! And we have to share sydney and blake stories…they will be married someday!
Farrah! You have to see all my new shoes. You are the only one who will appreciate them. And I need to hear some good bo stories and fail at resisting cheesecake or some other completely unhealthy chocolate like dessert from you… hehe.
Who else? Well, you get the picture. I’m trying to psych myself up for this returning thing. Im only dreading classes, like everyone I guess. And the lack of boys in my life. I really need to combine the two separate lives I live. It would make for a much healthier situation I believe.

Anyway, now that I’ve pumped myself up a little, I want to reflect on the summer – how it has been different than I expected.
Going into the summer, I really didn’t know what to expect. I had mixed feelings. I was worried, nervous, and almost scared, yet I was excited and ready for whatever it was going to bring me. Looking back, I think I expected the worse. I knew that ben and ranjana weren’t coming home and that automatically decreased the number for big group hang-outs. I knew that carrie would be with shane every waking (and sleeping for that matter) minute and I’d rarely see her. And those are about the only things that happened like I expected.
Other thoughts: I figured I wouldn’t be speaking to david high much. I figured it would be completely awkward when we were around one another and the knot in my stomach b/c of it would dampen anything fun I was doing. Instead, I got a visit to georgetown, an apology, a few emails, a few good discussions, tons of hugs and smiles, a little bit of awkwardness, and overall a good time.
With david pike, I had no clue what I would get. I didn’t know if we’d pretty much be dating again or if we wouldn’t speak much or if everything would just be awkward. I guess I honestly expected to atleast stay in contact with one another and stuff. I don’t guess I expected to cut the benefits off b/c lord knows I like benefits, but I did. But I don’t really think I was ready for what really has happened, or what might be happening within the next few days with him. (side thought: whenever I do speak to him, I think I’m going to tell him that I’m not writing, calling, or stopping by ever again. I’ll tell him that I’ve tried hating him and I can’t do it and I’ve failed at not caring. I’m going to tell him that by cutting off communication on my part doesn’t mean that I won’t think about him and wonder how he is. It will only keep me from being rejected as a friend when I write him and get no response. I want him to know that I don’t appreciate people who break promises and don’t enjoy those who portray three different lives. I want him to know how shitty some stuff has been for me and advise him not to do it to his future girlfriends. I also want him to tell me what I may have done wrong in our relationship that I could fix in the future. Hell, I know I wasn’t perfect, but I may be oblivious to some things I did. Whoa….gotta stop this now…back to my other train of thought)
Finally, I had a preconceived idea of how my relationship with david vance would be this summer. After he visited me on reading day last semester, I knew it was going to be fun with him around. However, I really didn’t know how the experience of david vance without ranjana would be. I’ve never seen the ranjana-less david for an extended period of time. For all I knew, he was going to go into seclusion or depression or just turn completely weird. The library job almost got the seclusion part accomplished, but other than that, I believe he has remained healthy. I believe I have david to thank for me hanging in there at times this summer. As he well knows, he has received the “best friend for the summer 2002” award. And I can’t really pinpoint why. It just seems like he has been there the most this summer. Always calling to check to see what was happening, always chipper and excited to see me no matter what the situation. Willing to listen to me complain and inviting me to graceland, what more could one ask for. Although I missed ranjana’s company this summer, I enjoyed experiencing a different shade of dvance. Thanks, david.
Oh yeah, there is also michael. This has been a realy shocker. After hanging out last christmas and talking on ICQ so much, I thought for sure that we’d hang out a lot this summer. However, for some reason we haven’t. I’ve seen him a total of five times in three months and it is pretty sad. But SOMEHOW, despite the small amount of time I’ve spent with him, dhigh and dvance are completely certain that I have a crush on him. What in the world? I can’t see their reasoning at all. I really don’t like him like that and I can’t say anything to try to prove my point. Oh well, I guess it has been a funny joke. Maybe when I get back to school, I can catch up on his life a bit.
And there is matt garrett…he has shocked me too. Since the tattoo, he has gotten his lip peirced and a girlfriend. He wasn’t around this summer much at all and I missed his company for games and frisbee golf.
And surprisingly, I’ve been around matt humphrey more than I expected. Since I scored him a job at T and C, I’ve seen him quite a bit. And I love him b/c he always laughs at my stupid, not really joke-like jokes. It is great. Maybe he does this just b/c I laugh at everything he says/does. Haha

So, overall, what is my take on the summer? I must say that it is hard to think “it has been a really great summer” b/c of everyone else’s opinion of it. I heard “man, this summer stinks,” “I can’t wait to get to BG,” and “the next “X number” of weeks is going to go by so slow” and such things way too many times. It really stinks when I feel it has been fun and others have such negative opinions about it. Everyone seemed to have something so much better to look forward to when school starts while I was just living for the day hoping for a good game of taboo. I don’t know how to explain what I’m trying to say but I’m saying that maybe we didn’t have as much fun this summer as we have in the past, but wishing away the summer wasn’t the best way to make the best out of the given situation. it stinks thinking maybe I’ve lost some of my funness and I’m sorry if that is the case. I try, I really do. Oh well, so on the most part, I guess I can say that my summer has been a lot better than what I expected. And I’m sorry if that opinion isn’t consistent across those people I’ve been around.

With that, I think I’ll conclude. I’ve been typing for way too long and I need to get some sleep now. Goodnight!

jenny 11:41 PM

 
I've got to stop living in the past. damn, this is killing me. you'd think ol' jenny starnes would learn after so long, but nothing seems to keep me from the old email files.

gosh, it pisses me off that all i ever blog about these days is the shit going on in my life or whatever.
whatever happened to the happy jenny?
i guess i'm still here, i think. i pretend to be atleast.
i really do have fun though. i had a great time in BG last night and today. but i just think too much. i always consider the past and dream about the future.

i've got to talk to david pike before i go crazy. thats all there is to it. but what do i say if i ever get him in front of me? damn.

think happy, think happy, think happy.
i get to see sydney tomorrow and i'm going to squeeze the crap out of that little girl!
jenny 12:09 AM

7/22/2002

 
well, i'm back. and i don't guess you are surprised to know that i'm here to complain/vent or whatever you want to call what i'm about to do. this summer has been such a rollercoaster. and i don't just mean it has had its ups and downs...it is more the whole sudden drops, cork screws, and sharp curves that upset me the most. there are so many things that i can't figure out. there are so many questions that i want to ask someone who will have the right answers. there are so many thoughts in my head that i want to verbalize to the appropriate people. but i just can't get up the nerve.
and whenever i get in this blah mood, i always manage to make things worse by reading old emails or icq histories. i should just delete it all, but that stuff makes me smile sometimes too.
i'm just feeling needy right now. within hours i'll be "celebrating" my one year anniversary of being single. i guess that is partially why i'm so blahish right now....but, basically, i have this overwhelming want for someone in my life. i've finally realized that david pike isn't going to change any time soon. its pretty obvious that since i cut off the kissing, he hasn't been too interested in seeing me. i've realized that even though david high apoloziged, he'll never be the david he once was to me. but anyway, i'm ready to move on. i need to get away from the memories. stop living in the past and such. i need that stability in my life. call me selfish, but i want someone (almost) completely devoted to me. i want that someone who sincerely cares about how my day was and who i can always think of with a smile. i almost feel desperate here. i even gave my mom the okay to hook me up. how pathetic, right? but writing about it all here, isn't really making it any better.
well, gtown gals, just be glad i'm not at school right now. i don't think you'd want to mess with this basketcase. just pray that i make it off the rollercoaster before aug 26th, or you're in for it! hehe!
i just finished my 16th straight day of work. maybe this adds to my negativity right now.
that means i've also finished band camp. no more!!! never again!! it is such a relief. but i feel somewhat proud of what i accomplished in the past two weeks. not any one could have done what i did...i like to think, at least.
after working the remainder of the week, i'll be off for FOUR days! i'm trying to come up with plans so i really can't agree to work for someone. i need these four days like i need a boy! hehe!
anyway, i'm thinking about going to louisville and visiting tracy and maybe jennifer! and i have to spend time with my mom sometime b/c of her birthday. i'd be up for just about anything as long as it isn't work. so, graceland, peeps? haha.that was for you dvance.
anyway, i'm sleepy so i might as well finish this depressing blog and sleep!

but really guys, im okay. just stuck in a rut and confused. i just need to speak with my heart more.

jenny 11:36 PM

6/12/2002

 
**written 6-11**
howdy yaw! One day surrounded by middle school girls in t-ville and I'm already talkin' like 'em. it is so bad!!! haha. well, i went to guard camp today to teach a mostly middle school guard. i think 4 of the girls are in high school and the rest are mainly seventh graders. i even have a sixth grader. what in the world? they will have me teaching two-year olds how to twirl a flag before too long...I mean, Sydney Drew is one talented 2-year-old, but i don't think "double-time" would mean much to her. anyway, my first day of camp wasn't very productive. i was really tired having gotten in at 2 this morrning, and i had nothing prepared. but there really wasn't anything for me to prepare since i diddn't have a show tape. and i still don't have a show tape so i doubt tomorrow will be much better. however, as long as i take out the good 30 minute relaxing on the gym floor looking at magazine time I'll be doing better tomorrow. Charlotte wants me to make them graceful tomorrow. i'm sorry, even if i did work magic, it would be impossible to make these girls graceful in one day. it takes years for some people.... i better come up with some kind of dance routine so i don't get the authorities fussin' at me. and surprisingly they may be paying me 200 dollars tomorrow for my two days of work. i couldn't believe it when she said this. she says it makes up for some time she didn't pay me for last year. hey, i wouldn't have remembered that, but i'm glad she did. at first, i felt bad about saying 200 would be good b/c i don't think i deserve it, but then again, i deserved a hell of lot more than i was paid last year!

so, what really brings me to blogging tonight. well, it is better than doing math stuff for next week. yeah, i know, i'm very bad. i go off to georgetown on sunday and i am not even half-way through the packet of material dr. harris gave me to do. dear goodness. and he hasn't emailed me with any information about the weeks either. and i'm not concerned. ha! the thing that concerns me the most is staying in knight hall for two weeks. isn't that awful. but, really, no air in the middle of june. i am so spoilt!

anyway....on a more serious note, one of my high school friends was in a bad car accident last week. while flipping her car, the total impact of the car landed on her hand. she was flown straight to vandy where she is still in a coma. with a fractured skull and ribs, internal bleeding and other injuries, she is expected to make it. she is now making non-verbal responses, which is the only sign of improvement. well, this girl is jessica buckingham. i've talked about her at at school. while we weren't always the best of friends, we were in guard together for five years. if nothing else, we have that somewhat family-like connection that guard brought. she got on my nerves a lot with her fibs, but she was a sweet girl who was generally sweet to me. she and i went through a lot together and i really hope she makes it through this. i can't imagine what her family is going through and especially kristi, her sister. this has made me slow down a bit on hwy 63 and a little more thankful for my life. amazing what things can happen and how it effects others.
ranjana and i were going to go visit on thursday, but they are asking for no non-family visitors right now. please keep her in your prayers.

now....with a bit more of a smile....i told david pike that i am not kissing him anymore. he took this pretty well, however, i don't know if he thinks i'm really going to keep to this promise. i haven't been tested yet, so we will see....but before i told him this, he took me out to eat at shogun, a japanese restuarant in BG. we had a good time and i think we really are moving closer to that "just being friends" thing, really. i'd like to be, like david vance said, "the only ones who actually pulled the 'friends after a break-up' thing off." i'll try to keep you updated on this.
also, david high... we talk, we have stare-down contests, we have those evil joking looks, and we enjoy ourselves pretty much like old times....or atleast i think we do. it is so weird lately, but in a good way. i don't feel weird about messaging him and being around him. i'm still working on the calling and hanging out one-on-one thing. i think it will come when ready. i really can't hold a grudge. as much as i sometimes wanted to, with him and david pike, i can't. its like after awhile, i forget all the negative things that pissed me off at one time, smile, and keep going. i guess i like that pretty well though.
and just in case you read this david high, i've missed you and i've really enjoyed your company lately.

well, my dad is going to work now. i think i'll take a shower and go to bed. leave the studying for thursday.
goodnight! love you all



jenny 8:37 PM

5/31/2002

 
i have so much ready to give but no one in which to give it. why?


despite my blah mood that brought me back to blogging after months, i'm slowly gaining excitement about the best night of the year. However, this is the first time that I have gone to the tartan ball "alone" since my very first one my freshman year. i hope i don't feel too much like a loser.

p.s. i discovered tonight: never eat fat-free cheese on fat-free crackers. huge mistake. gross. the hershey kisses i tried first were much better.

i have to sleep. i am mentally and physically exhausted and i think i juts now realize why. i haven't done anything physical *minus the one day of frisbee* since i left georgetown. lard butt jenny is gone now! night
jenny 11:54 PM

3/04/2002

 
Friendship is a very weird thing. the older i get the less i seem to understand it.
So i have sort of been talking about blogging for a little while. I have this friendship blog inside of me and i just don't know when it is going to all spill out into a blog. I think it would really help me figure out some stuff in my head, but sometimes i wonder if i really want to figure those things out. would it really make things better?

I've been thinking a lot about a particular "friend" lately. well, two "friends" actually, but mainly one. david high. i doubt he will ever check this nor will anyone else from glasgow. but really, i don't care if they do.
I'm still so confused with the situation with him, and i can't just forget about it. i can't pretend that everything is okay when i see him, but at the same time, i can't email him, call him, visit him, write him, anything. no method of communication seems appropriate for this. part of me just wants to hold off....thinking that he'll surprise me with an email or letter first. something in me wants to believe that it is just a dream, a nightmare, rather, that i'll awake from and everything will be how it was. i'll have that friend back who makes me smile with a simple hello. who makes me feel like i'm doing a good job at being a friend. who gives me hope that there is another one like him out there who deserves me. who reminds me that i'm loved. who calls me a best friend. i'm not taking anything away from the friends i have now, b/c they are wonderful all in their own ways. and david high had his own way of being wonderful. something about him sets him apart from any friend i've ever had. it may just be b/c he is the best guy friend that i have ever had, but it seems like there was something more there.
hell, i was told i would marry the boy. and for a minute or two, that actually sounded like not such a bad idea. i never thought anything much into it, but knowing that that person is completely out of my life hurts. it has been over two months since i have seen or talked to him. i've written him one letter within that time period, and i've gotten no response.
confusing. that is what it all is.
how does one go from calling me his "best friend" to not calling me at all? how does one say, "i'll always be there for you," and then stop asking how your day was? how is one so concerned with your well-being until his well-being is perfected and all of a sudden he assumes everyone is alright? or he just doesn't care.
gosh. i could go on forever about this. I just don't know how a person can change so drastically, so quickly. however, i am seeing more and more evidence of it all the time. sad sad stuff.
I just want him to know that i have been hurt by this. and that i'm not just one of those other friends who is there one day and is gone the next. not by choice at least. I guess i'm just wanting him to know that he has lost one of the best friends he has ever had and he doesn't even realize it. i mean that sincerely. and if you read this, david, i hope it hurts. it hurts me to write it.

I really wasn't going to approach this blog like i did, but it happened. i'll probably write more about the situation later. but until then, goodnight. and thanks to you people who are my friends. you make me the miss high on life that i am.
jenny 12:36 AM

2/19/2002

 
Wow, so its been awhile. What to say, what to say? I don’t really know what has made me blog, but it could be several things. One, everyone else is doing it, haha. Or two, I feel so free and I just couldn’t keep my excitement in me. Well, I’m not very excited, but I’ll get to that later. Or three, I don’t feel like doing anything productive, and for once I don’t really have to.
What has been up with me lately?
I’ve been studying my ass off as you all (three) know. The past three days have felt like weeks. And honestly, I don’t know where the past 5 and half weeks have gone. I don’t guess I’m going to complain too much, though.
So, I think I did better on my linear algebra test than I did my calculus test. This is really surprising b/c I expected the opposite. I’ll find out part of the results tomorrow and I’m getting scared.
So besides studying?
This past Saturday, I went to Indiana to visit matt garrett at purdue. I met carrie and shane in louisville and I drove from there. The trip was about three hours, but conversation made it not so bad on the way up. I can’t get over how much carrie has changed, but at the same time, stayed the same. She is one of those people who I’ll always be friends with no matter how different we both become. I think her and shane are going to come visit me over their spring break (week after mine). This will be hilarious b/c shane’s appearance is so eye-catching. My friends here may be embarrassed by him, but I hope not. Anyway, it was good catching up with her on stuff. Once at purdue, we found matt and went to goodwill. Yeah, really exciting, unique thing to do when you drive so far, but it was fun. I like goodwill and I got the coolest purple robe. I think I failed to tell people about this b/c of all the Georgia talk, but I love my new robe. I doubt I’ll ever wear it, but It may come in handy some day.
Okay, I just lost quite a bit of my blog and that makes me mad, but I’ll summarize a bit.
Basically, after goodwill, we went to a few shops looking for a magnet for sarah and then to eat at matt’s Chinese restaurant. Then we watched a bad TV movie and I studied a little bit. Later we went to walmart for what seemed like forever, but I got some cool stuff. I was ready to go after we got back from walmart, but carrie and shane didn’t seem all that ready. We ended up watching another bad movie and finally playing some settlers of catan at 12:30. We left at 1:30 and I got home about 6. It was very crazy, but shane hooked me up with a yellow jacket caffeine pill, and I was fine for the drive home. So, in summary, the trip was decent. Nothing compared to the georgia trip, but we all cant be that fortunate. Oh, and I must add that matt garrett knew pretty much nothing about the town in which he lives. Yeah, so he doesn’t have a car there and is always taking the bus or walking, but I’d think he’d know something. I gained lots of driving self-confidence this weekend, b/c I had to B.S. my way around west lafayette indiana. So, that was that.
What else did I mention earlier? I said something about my mom sending me flowers for V-day. It was really sweet and they are still looking beautiful! I think flowers from moms last longer than those from boys. My theory, but I seriously think boys curse them or something….just my thoughts. Anyway, other valentine goodies include a card from sydney and a box of candy and a card from the pikes. Have I mentioned lately how awesome they are? Well, I love them. The coolest parents ever, next to mine of course. And, melanie might be above them since she did give me a free airplane ticket….but, still they are awesome. Oh, and yesterday I got a belated v-day card from david pike. It was postmarked on the 14th, so I don’t know if that means he felt bad for not sending me one when he got the one I sent him, or if he just didn’t think about it being V-day and all, or what. Just weird, and I didn’t really understand what he wrote means. I don’t know what I’m thinking about him lately. I really want to call and just talk to him, but I don’t know if I should.
Lets see….about the airplane ticket…I’m very excited about spring break b/c I’m going to see ben at providence, RI. I am really scared about flying by myself, but hopefully everything will go smoothly. I leave the night of the 8th and get back the night of the 12th. I have no idea what we will do, but whatever we do will be awesome b/c providence has to be such a cool city! And we will probably go clubbing! Woohoo, I can’t wait…little over three weeks.
I guess that is about all I know right now. Actually, I think I’m just tired of typing. I’m in a weird mood, and I feel sort of out of the loop. I guess b/c I’m exhausted and at the same time b/c I am somewhat stress free for a change. Maybe after I get 9 hours of sleep tonight, I’ll be in a better, more Jenny-like mode.
I’ll be back someday, don’t miss me too much.
=>Jenny
p.s. I’m going home this weekend. Can’t wait to see sydney. I’ve already put in my reservation.


jenny 8:06 PM

1/04/2002

 
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME, HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!
hey, if no one else is going to sing it to me, i might as well.
actually, i take that back. last night, or should i say early this morning, ben, dpike, dvance and matt garrett sang it to me. boy was it a beautiful arrangement! anyway...that is how my birthday started. after some of them and some others watched two godfather movies, i joined them and we played an AWESOME game. it is ben's game that he brought to us from his experiences at brown....we played from before 12 until 3. and that was ONE game. david vance and i left, but the other three played another game i think. anyway, it is called "the settlers of Catan" i think. i am looking forward to playing it late tonight as well.
anyway, that was fun and then i drove to monroe co at 3 a.m. and was in bed around 4. i slept til 12, which was only 8 hours, but it was well needed nonethless. when i got up, i went to mammy's to see my sydney drew. i hadn't seen her since christmas i don't think. i'd missed the little rascal....anyway, i played with her until nearly three and then i showered, got ready and came to glasgow. i'm right now sitting in glasgow waiting for dpike to call me b/c he is taking me out to eat for my birthday. i'm very hungry, therefore i'm excited!! = ]
hehe.

anyway, let me back track a little bit. last night i went to BG for pre-birthday activities with my mom. originally she had invited me down there to take me out for my birthday, but when i called her to inform her that i was coming, she was like, "i'm cooking some spaghetti, is that okay." i was really pissed b/c i was looking forward to actually going out to eat! i said, "i don't really feel like it, but it will be okay." she then was like, "i can fix this for bob, then you and i can go eat." i convinced her that i was fine with the non-jenny picked meal, even though i was upset about it! it was MY birthday meal for goodness sake...anyway, i got over it eventually....and she made me a birthday cake, so it was all good.
i got to meet "bob's" dogs and hear all these "wonderful" stories about them...blah blah!
but, i got a nice necklace from my mom and then we went to the mall. it was 8:00 so i only had an hour to shop. i hadn't spent any of my christmas money on myself yet, so i was excited. i coudln't do too much damage, but i came home with an awesome pair of pants (i'm wearing them now) that are sort of blue/black and they have sparkles! hehe. (you guys at georgetown might laugh!) and i got a pretty, bright, funky blue sweater and, brace yourselves, some BLUE pants to match! woohoo! i only spent 50 dollars but it is probably a good thing i only had an hour.
so overall, the time with my mom was pretty fun.
but, best of all, today when i went back to my dad's after being at mammy's, i found the prettiest arrangement of flowers on the table that my mom had sent. it was wonderful. a great surprise that even made me cry!
and later i found a nice pretty check from my dad on the table! woohoo.
so, even though mammy once again didn't fix me a birthday cake and she nor my dad never said "happy birthday" it has been a great day! i just hope tonight is fun and i don't get stuck going to the glasgow/barren co. bball game. i really don't want to go but i'm not going to sit around my house by myself if everyone else is going.
i'll update you later on everything.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME, HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME....
jenny 6:50 PM

12/30/2001

 
woohoo! i got a little bored on the internet tonight and decided to change my blog. I hope it didn't freak any of you out or anything. i'm sure that you all are glad that i finally updated my template. sorry it took so long, but i've been busy. i think the current one is the most jenny-like. you agree?
anyway, i went to david vance's going to spain party last night. out of habit, i almost wrote, "i had a blast."
but, i'm not going to write that. as much as i'd like to say that i had fun, i really didn't have all that much. things were REALLY weird with some people, and I felt like a total outcast. I felt like i was invisible at times. i must say that i had fun at times, though. i played some speed scrabble and did decently. then, chris and i lost at a game of spades to david pike and sarah miller. but it was good to play spades again. later in the night, i played scattegories with david's family. i didn't feel like joining balderdash and really wasn't invited to play trivial pursuit with everyone else. oh well. i got to show my skills at SET. ranjana finally beat me and she went through the house announcing it. she got several cheers, but they all know who the queen of SET is! hehe. and i am also the queen of twister. after defending my title several times, david vance managed to beat me. he only won b/c david high purposely called moves to make me fall after he fell out of the match. anyway.
i'm not going into anything else in fear that i might get upset, again.
i'm doing okay. i'm having a new year's party tomorrow. i'm not too excited about it b/c i know things are going to be just like last night. i spent 40 dollars, not including the price of all the cokes and paper supplies needed, today. every year i think i won't do it again b/c it is so expensive, but i just can't say no to everyone saying, "have a party." and if i'm going to have a party, i'm going to have a party. i can't have a bad one, so i'm getting balloons and the whole bit.
i hope it is more fun than i think it is going to be. i have to work all day and i'm not getting much sleep tonight so who knows what kind of mood i'll be in.
well i need to go and pick out an outfit for my party and finish some laundry and sleep!
i hope you enjoy the new template! i hope everyone is great! love you all!

jenny 10:59 PM

12/23/2001

 
the asriel's christmas party owned. yes, sarah, it owned! hehe.
anyway, i had a great time last night. i only got two and half hours of sleep last night, but it was all worth it.
the highlight of the night:
around 11, david high announced that there was a new version of taboo. being the taboo freaks we are, we all eight took off to walmart to buy it. for new taboo couldn't wait!
comes to find out that the gray taboo box david high had seen on tv was actually an electronic taboo game.
after some brief consideration, we all pitched in and bought the 40 dollar game. five dollars a person isn't bad.
anyway, we got our electronic taboo and it KICKS ASS! woohoo.
we played that for several hours and it was fun. my team one, but not b/c of me, that is for sure.
anyway, i had a great time.
today i had christmas with my mom's family. guess what i got from my mom? you are going to love this. no more hearing me say, "lock your doors" b/c i am getting electronic power lock things. it is going to be awesome.
okay, enough for now. i had a great day with the family but now i either need to sleep or clean!
bye!
jenny 5:43 PM

12/21/2001

 
haha, i just read over that after i published it and saw several typos.
sorry guys but i'm not going to go back and edit. just overlook the errors please! = ]
jenny 11:25 PM

 
oh wow.
that is enough said, but maybe i should elaborate a little bit.
i hope all of you georgetown peeps read this so you can know what all is going on with me. i thought about emailing but then i thought this might be easier.

but, i may ramble, and if so, i am sorry.
so i finally got packed and left georgetown at about 3 eastern time to head home. it was a wonderful feeling to know that i was leaving behind all the stress and semester anxiety. it was a great relief. the ride home wasn't the best b/c it was raining, but i made it home nonetheless.
wednesday when i got in, i visited with the ferguson's (my aunt, uncle and cousins who live right in front of my mom's apartment). for an early birthday gift (or late georgetown birthday gift = ] ) my aunt took me and got me a month subscription to the YMCA so i could have some place to workout and stuff while i'm home. after hanging out with the fam for a bit, i went to the funeral home with misty, tracy, helena, rebecca, laura and teresa. i really love these guys and i've grown to appreciate them more now that we are out of school. even though the circumstances weren't good, with the death of miranda's father, we were able to able to catch up and laugh about old times. we managed to make miranda laugh a little as we walked up to see her. while some people may not have approved of our behavior, we didn't care. we were making miranda happy and that is all that mattered. i'd forgotten how awesome miranda is as well. she and i used to be great friends in high school with band and all. it is really sad that we don't see each other much at georgetown. hopefully since next semester is her last we will be able to get together sometime.
the main thing that we laughed about was this angel that had lights all over it. some optical thing or something. it was really tacky looking and we were all making fun of it. even miranda's friends who came down from georgetown were laughing. at one point both my group and that group sat together. the phi mus really enjoyed my friends. it was funny. they were making helena and misty say some words like "tuesday" b/c of their accents. apparently they thought miranda had a bad one until meeting them.
all in all, it was a nice combinations. it definitely reassured my thoughts that some of the phi mus are pretty cool, no matter what anybody else says.
after the funeral home, i actually went "home." although i wanted to hang around with them longer, i needed to get home and unpack.
so, as i neared my house, my mind wasn't focused on much of anything. then, when i popped over the hill right before my dad's house, amazement overcame me. what i saw was a purely amazing. my dad had decorated the house, putting up lights around it and the picket fence just like old times. when he didn't do it last year, i thought he'd probably not do it this year. it almost made me cry because it was such a comforting feeling to know that christmas here at home just waiting for me. and when i came in, i realized that the tree was also up . when i saw this, i was for sure that andrew and andrea must have came and helped him. i later found out that he had done it himself. how remarkable! i've never known my dad to take the initiative to put up the christmas tree.
anyway, that was awesome and it made me so happy and glad to be home in general.

i didn't get a lot of sleep that night b/c i unpacked and i got up the next morning early enough to go to mammy's to see her and sydney and papa, too. it was wonderful to see them. sydney changed so much in the three weeks i was gone. she says sentences now!
later that day, i went back to glasgow for the funeral. it was a really nice funeral, but it was really hard to hold back my emotions. to put myself in miranda's shoes was very painful. i really don't know how i could handle that. miranda is one of the strongest people i know so she did well. but i realize that some of her toughest days are probably still ahead.
after spending the majority of the day doing that, i decided to do some christmas shopping. i still had some to finish and i decided not to fight the rush of BG and take care of it in glasgow. i visited walmart 3 times throughout the night. i vowed not to go back for a week, but i went the next day to take mammy...
anyway, shopping was successful fortunately. after shopping i went by michael's house to see what he was up to. he was working on his car so i headed back to my mom's house. later in the night, though, he came over. we wathced the end of the duke/uk game and sat around and watched tv til 4 a.m. it was really crazy but i had a great time. i'll have to tell you guys more later. he is such a silly one! = ]
after he left, i drove back to monroe...yes, at 4a.m. it was crazy.
that next morning i slept til 12:30. i woke up scared to death that someone knew that i stayed out that late, but no one even asked why i slept so late. it was nice.
but once again, i didn't get to completely rest. i took mammy to tville to finish her christmas shopping and to get groceries for christmas feasting. i got to spend time with sydney so i didn't mind too much.
once back at mammy's, i wrapped christmas presents til i was blue in the face. no, seriously, i wrapped gifts pretty much from 7 to 1. crazy. and i didn't even finish.
now i am getting tired of the play-by-play so i'll make things breifer.

hhmmm. yesterday i went back to towne and country to work. i worked up front so it wasn't all that great. it was sort of boring work, but it was good. after work i went to the Y, GO ME! and then to carrie's house for her family birthday party. i had a really really great time spending time with her. she is such a great person and sometimes i need reminded of how great my friends are. i got to meet her new neice, so of course i enjoyed myself. and her older neice, kelsey who is in first grade, loves me. i carried her around once and for the rest of the night she was attached to me. it was cute.
(okay, so i am not cutting down much on detail, oh well)
i got to eat some good food including cheesecake-brownies. mmmmmmm.
i left there around 9 and pretty much sat at the computer at my mom's until nearly 11. i had been trying to contact ben b/c i knew he was coming in yesterday....so before i went back to monroe, i drove by his house. lo and behold, HE WAS THERE! i was so happy to see him. he is one of those who is almost always happy and hyper. it was great. i hadn't seen him since august. i got to open my gift from britta. too bad it was broke. it was the cutest glass, pink, pig candle. i managed to save part of it. i always have bad luck with my britta gifts. last year i didn't get my necklace from her b/c ben lost it or something....
but it is the thought that counts.
after playing with some of ben's and his brother's fun toys, i came back to monroe.
this morning i woke up, wrapped MORE gifts and went to by carrie's to give her her birthday/christmas gift. i'm so glad that she like it. i'm proud of myself for getting that the breakfast club movie since it is one of her favorites. and she liked the sweatshirt thing a lot too. she laughed at the tights, which was the only purpose of them. anyway, i got a cute scarf from her and then went to work at 12. after a busy day at work in the pharmacy, i went by misty's house. she was having a christmas party tonight. i really wanted to go but i had to have christmas here at my dad's b/c it was the only time andrew and andrea and i could do it. at misty's, i left some christmas cards and candy. i'm sad that i didn't get to see them, they were still out eating.
the christmas party here at my dad's was a lot of fun though. i got the cutest keychain from sydney. it is silver and it is engraved with "aunt jenny" on one side and "love, sydney" on the other. i almost cried. it is so sweet.
and i got a sort of weird shirt. i think i like it, but i am not for sure. i got a new game, "moods" and a bracelet from andrew and andrea. from my dad i got a purse. it is a really nice purse. fossil brand, but it is sort of big. i will keep it b/c some day i know i'll actually use it/need it. i give him props for trying to buy me something serious. he didn't buy my any tools like usual. sort of sad but i'm cool with it. he also got me a candle and the usual money. i think that is it. so, one christmas down, several more to go. it has been great so far.
i think my family really liked what i got them. it made me happy!
okay, i have to wrap some more gifts for my dad and get everything ready for tomorrow night. after work i am going to the asriel's christmas party. it is going to be awesome....i just hope things aren't weird with some of the people.

and as for the "getting me some" update...i haven't even talked to the boy. i have only tried to call once. so far, so good!
i hope everyone out there is having a good break. MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!! love you all!
jenny 11:14 PM

12/10/2001

 
I will always be a ballet dancer at heart!
I just love it!

tonight, while trying to study for my music appreciation test, i ended up dancing in the hallway with sarah. I was listening to Tchaikovsky's Nutcracker when sarah suggested that we go and dance. we attracted the attention, both wanted and unwanted, of our fellow dormmates. people hate us, i swear. oh well. they are only jealous of our personalities, our funness, and generally speaking, our state of being!
not everyone can be as cool as us.

anyway, i haven't done much of anything today. i have studied for my music test tomorrow but that is IT!
i really should have studied some calculus. i'm going to regret it on thursday.
but, for now i shall stop complaining and rambling and get cracking on something productive!
i'll be back someday!
goodnight!
jenny 11:26 PM

12/05/2001

 
THIS BLOG WAS SUPPOSED TO BE POSTED ON THE 4TH...JUST FOR YOUR KNOWLEDGE
I couldn't have a better reason to blog than what happened today.
Today is my birthday. "what?" some of you may be thinking. "Your birthday is January 4th!"
Well, my friends, not anymore I say.
Thanks to my great friends here at georgetown, my birthday was celebrated today, one month early.
so after getting out of math a little early sarah and i went to the C-store to waste some of my grille dollars. sarah was taking her time looking at this and that...and then she decided that we should go to the store and look around. i kept wondering why she was spending so much time in there, but i didn't think much of it. i figured she was just being her normal self. finally, after walking at a slower pace than usual, we reached our dorm. she got my keys out for me and just so happened to notice and comment on the side door being open. "somebody had their car backed down there and she must have left the door propped." she wanted to make sure i didn't come in the front door and see straight into my room and ruin the surprise. completely clueless, i walked up the steps, down the hall and unlocked my door. with that, i heard a "surprise" from my buds standing in my wonderfully decorated room. banners, one reading "surprise you just thought your birthday was in january" and streamers and everthing fun like that. they had gifts for me and everything....oh gosh...i just took a long break from writing this blog. so much has happened even since two hours ago or something...
i don't even know what to mention now. anyway, jennifer, tori, sarah and mio took me to cracker barrel to eat. great food! chicken tenders, hashbrown caserole and dumplins. and you can't forget the two wonderful biscuits! fortunately they couldnt' talk me into dessert and they didn't force me into it either. but, i came back to my room and had a few chocolates from my HUGE ass box of chocolates ali gave me.
let me mention the wonderful stuff i got, in order that i opened it...so i won't forget anything.
ali: fun gel pens with spanish names, pastel paper pad, silly putty, and the huge box of chocolates...i'm talking over 50 peices!
tori and sarah: smiley face candy container and cup, matching toe socks and gloves, card games (rook, uno, and skip-bo) so they can collect dust when they won't play with me (kidding, cause we have already played uno), stickers and a black fleece hodded jacket so i can stop wearing "ranjanananananananana's."
jennifer mckinney: a princess picture frame for a pic of sydney (already found one for it), three little stands with clips for pictures, and some fun yellow gloves (they have black on them, too, as was pointed out many a times = ] )
jessica: more candy including a candy necklace, M&M's and hershey bar.
mio: a good smelling candle and wild lime body lotion, gel and scrub
jennifer mccoy: this toy called "cube it up." my gosh how fun is that. i didn't know how to play it so i just used it as my dancing partner at first. it was hilarious. it has a nice beat and ali agreed with me! if all else fails, use it as a boombox (i can't believe i just used that word)
farrah (and maybe partially from jennifer too, i got confused): labyrinth and mancala. both are lots of fun. labyrinth was sort of ghetto, but it works well with the use of my hands....i did pretty well although i think it is impossible. mancala is a fun game. i'd never heard of it, but sarah helped us out with quick instructions. tori became an instant fan! i enjoyed it too...farrah says it is sort of mathy, but tori says it isn't. anyway...i probably left something out, but that was the most of it!
i enjoy all of my gifts so very much! they will come in handy during finals i'm sure. too handy, i'm afraid.
but more than i enjoyed the gifts, the cupcakes, the banners, i enjoyed the hugs, the thoughtfullness, the love i felt, and the sense of knowing how fortunate i am much much more. i have always felt like i have had great friends, but sometimes i forget just how wonderful they are. i've never had a group of friends go out of their way to make me feel as special as i did today. no offense to you glasgow people, but you have some strong competitors up here at georgetown.
thanks everybody who went out of their way to make today so wonderful. great job keeping it a secret for so long, too. i had NO idea. december 4th will never be the same again and neither will my appreciation for you!
i may have to add to this blog later when i'm not so tired and when i remember more details...but for now, goodbye and thanks ever so much! i'll make it through til christmas break now, no problems. finals aren't important, friendships are.
i love you guys!
if you give a little, you get so much back in return. <== my overall thought for the day!
happy birthday to me, happy birthday to me....whoops, it is the 5th now. sorry!

jenny 12:52 AM

11/23/2001

 
hello everyone! I'm sitting at my mom's house just having finished my third thanksgiving meal. good food. my single request for a fruit salad and green bean casserole turned into three of each. but, i'm not complaining. (i hope you got some green bean casserole as well sarah!)
so anyway, i just left my aunt's house and i told them i was leaving so i could study a little bit of discrete math before my company came over. i had great intentions to do that, but doubt i'll get around to it. blogging seems so much more inviting. i have to make my mom's bed and "pick up" before too long. i am supposed to be having a social gathering. it won't be the largest b/c matt, carrie and erik are in nashville at a concert and several are at the football game (glasgow HS is in some playoff game to get to go to state. me not being there doesn't surprise me but several have been like, "what, you aren't going to the game?" it is pretty funny,but anyway.) ben didn't come home for thanksgiving b/c he is up at brown writing a musical or something. sad times, but what he is doing is so much cooler than glasgow!
so, i'm listening to counting crows hoping someone will interupt my solitude. i am SO excited about playing spades. there better be three other ppl willing to play.
so who is coming to my "party"?
ranjana and david vance i know for sure. i messaged david high and michael but i haven't heard back from them. they better show up! and i don't really know who else. hopefully matt garrett will get in from the concert early enough for a late night appearance.
i have this urge to see everyone i possible can over thanksgiving break. i saw tracy, misty, helena and rebecca on wednesday night! it was so awesome. i hadn't seen helena or tracy since august. we were at little taste of texas and we were cracking up laughing just like the good ol' days of band. i'm really glad tracy called me b/c on my way home i had thought about visiting them all sometime during break.
on friday i also bought some new shoes, ate some subway, and rode around with michael for a few minutes.
so what exactly did i do on my thanksgiving day? i slept as late as i physically could, 9:00. sort of sad but i did go to bed before 11:30 wednesday night. after that i got up and did some crunches to try to combat the large meal i was about to eat. i showered and went to mammy's. there i ate a quiet meal with my grandparents and my dad. good stuff despite the not-so-large quantities. after lunch i did my math and calculus homework. then mammy and i went to walmart. how ghetto is that? i can't say i've ever gone to walmart on thanksgiving before, but it was fun stuff. i got the whole "shopping for stuff before going back to school" thing out of the way and i beat the rush at the same time. thursday night i chilled at my dad's doing laundry, watching TV and studying a little math. and the favorite part of this was the watching TV part. i really wish i could do that more often b/c i really enjoyed it. i watched ER tori. aren't you proud?
hehe. anyway, that was yesterday.
today i got up around 8:00, got ready and came to glasgow for thanksgiving with my mom's people. i had to get there early so i could "learn how to cook." my mom is concerned that i learn how to prepare the thanksgiving feast. i didn't do much learning. mainly observing. it was quite humorous b/c everyone has his or her own way of doing things and they won't really let me help. they critique one another. mainly they comment on my mom. my aunt was like, "sondra's eggs are always runny." and my grandmother kept telling my aunt lynne to "get away" b/c she was crowding her gravy-making space.
i got to meet aaron (my cousin's) girlfriend. i had heard a whole lot about this chick and she was nothing like i expected. she wasn't "hot" for one. and i have always pictured aaron with a hot chick b/c he is so, so, sooo....that type, if that makes since. i'm proud to know that he has found love with a "normal" girl. gives me hope that i'll find someone...hehe!
so, i enjoyed visiting with them. andrew and andrea showed up later with sydney. i will refrain from talking about sydney too much. but she was darling. she had the cutest outfit on, i have pictures = ]!
today i also went out and got mammy and papa a cookie jar for their anniversary. i decided to stay away from the normal golden anniversary presents. mammy is re-doing her kitchen with apples so i thought i'd get her a cookie jar to help out. and as for papa, well, he will have a new place to keep his favorite cookies. i'm thinking about getting him three or four things of his favorite cookies and wrapping them up to go with the cookie jar. what do you think? he'd like that. i came in with some chocoloate covered cherries for him on wednesday. he loves those things and when i saw them at Towne and Country, i couldn't resist.
shew, i've rambled a whole lot, but that is okay.
now i need to get off here and clean a bit before ppl show up. i have made white trash for my friends. of course that is the only reason why these glasgow folks love me, but i have to do something to get them to play games with me! woohoo!
anyway, i'm off of here. i hope everyone had a great thanksgiving and enjoy the rest of break!

p.s. i'm having lunch with david pike tomorrow...this will be interesting but i'm excited. i hope all goes well.
jenny 9:21 PM

11/18/2001

 
it is impossible to go to sleep early on a saturday night. dangit, dangit! but i don't care.
i'm really excited about getting up at 3:45 (yeah, like in 3 hours) to go see the meteor showers. tori and i are going to the park to watch them. they better be awesome!
i'll let you know. and i'll have my camera just in case something spectacular happens.
goodnight!
jenny 12:38 AM

11/16/2001

 
Hello, is anyone out there?
haha, i just felt like saying that.
This is a very spur of the moment blog. i was sitting here trying to decide what to do and i thought i'd blog about my options and hopefully decide something.
option #1) i could go to the gym. i really need to do this b/c i didn't go last night and today i had TWO cookies with icing and sprinkles. it was really good. and i have some chocolate cheesecake sitting in my fridge which i can't eat unless i workout. (i have jennifer mccoy and farrah to thank, or hate, for that. uuurrrrggggggghhhhhhh)
option #2) i could work on homework. within this option are several seperate options. i'd probably do calculus first just b/c it is my favorite to do. (i can't believe i just admitted that = ] hehe.)
i'm sure that there are more options, but i'm not going consider the others b/c this weekend is all about being productive! woohoo! i have all the normal homework plus a huge chemistry test on monday and a music paper due tuesday. but, it'll be over soon! = ]
i also have to do laundry...but i'll do that tonight while i am doing homework.

so that is what i have to do today...now what i have already done.at nine, i went to accounting only b/c i needed to study for my chemistry quiz. i studied well enough b/c i think i made a 10/10 on it. after that i went to spanish. here we had a quiz, and i also think i made a perfect score! woohoo! and spanish was actually fun today. we got to make up a dialogue between a doctor and an injured athelete. i had the wonderful idea to have the athelete have an injured thumb:
here is our story:
me, the patient "Hola! Tengo una problema."
sarah, the doctor "Que es tu problema?"
"Me duele el pulgar"
"Que ocurrio?"
"Me duele el pulgar durante a la competencia national de lucha de pulgar."
"Recomiendo que termine este deporte radical"
"No puedo terminar porque voy a ir a la competencia international."
"Prefiero que no vaya."
"No, lucha de pulgar es mi vida"
(minor alterations may follow and i'm sorry for the lack of accents and any other errors.) sorry if you aren't a spanish speaker...but most of my readers are. hehe. i'll give you this much: lucha = wrestling.
sarah, jessica lowery, two other girls in my class, and i had way too much fun with this. i think dr. gonzalez liked it as well! = ] too bad it wasn't for a grade so we could have gotten extra credit or something!
so, after spanish i ate lunch along with my cookies...bad bad jenny..
during lunch and after lunch i studied calculus hard core b/c i had a micro quiz today and i knew that i needed a 4/4. (i made a 0/2 and a 2/4 on the last two!)
but, i studied well and i pulled a 4/4. thank goodness. i was afraid dr. french thought i'd turned completely retarded.
anyway, my day has been wonderful and i finally found ali so we are going to work out now!
the only sad thing about the day is that i didn't get the pictures of sydney that mammy told me i should get in the mail today. sad stuff...but it gives me something to look forward to on monday!
i'm out of here! adios!
jenny 2:45 PM